Transitioning to confidence: How I felt safe to explore my gender identity at Elsevier

It all started with a simple question, a sea of faces surrounding me in The Lancet office in London.  

“Do you mind calling me Fio?”

This was in October 2022. I had recently come out as queer, separated from my long-term partner and starting to lead a more authentic private life. I had begun dating my current girlfriend in London and was living in Bristol. I desperately wanted to move to London, so I started to reach out to friends, and an opportunity came up at The Lancet.

I had heard of The Lancet, of course, but had no idea that I — a freelance writer with no science background — would ever be a good fit. I went for the interview, and before I knew it, I was stepping through the doors of the London Wall office for my first day as an Editorial Assistant.

It was an overwhelming first day. My colleagues were a gorgeous group of young and vibrant people, where I was mostly six or seven years older. I felt comfortable, eager to please, but also anxiously bubbly— that kind of anxiety that is usually classed as excitement.  

And I was truly excited, to be involved in such a company. But I was also nervous as a new thought bubbled inside me.

I had been mulling over trying a new name and pronouns for a few weeks beforehand — asking close friends and family to try it. It was even new to me, letting the name sit in my mouth and pronouncing it a few times, trying to brand it to my brain.

So when I was introduced with my old name by my wonderful new manager, I stammered out my question.

The love and support from the team was immediate. Of course, I could change my name — of course I could change my pronouns. Would you like your email address to change to reflect that? Let me show you how to edit the letters and signature to be as you want it to be. Changing my pronouns from She/Her to He/Him lit a spark in me that will never be extinguished. It just felt right.

Hearing my work colleagues call me Fio gave me a new sense of freedom and confidence — a new name and a new start. It was a new start that let me truly discover myself. Over the next few months, I threw myself into my job, spreading as much enthusiasm I could into the role. I took care of our authors, our customers and my fellow editors as best I could, whilst also giving myself time to grow throughout the company, taking part in the mentorship program to learn more about the multimedia team, hoping to see if I could be of use there.

I have always been a person who’s tried to fit in — to adapt and mould myself into what I was needed for. But at this company, I have not had to be anything more but myself. Being authentic meant that I was feeling the most myself I had ever felt in the workplace — and that in itself is a kind of magic.

A year after joining The Lancet, I had four weeks off for my double mastectomy — an operation that would transform my mental and physical health. I had to be off work for a month —4 weeks of rest where I would be bed-bound for some of it —and then unable to stretch or overexert myself until I had the all clear from my surgeon six weeks later.

As I lay resting, I remember looking at the wonderful card my Lancet colleagues sent me and thinking how lucky I was to work for such a wonderful company. That even though I wanted the rest, I wanted to see everyone, to thank them in person for their kindness. That it was thanks to them I was able to achieve this.

Flash forward to today, six months later. I’m now our Deputy Manager of Operations, leading and working my wonderful team in supporting our editors at The Lancet and the 24 journals we take care of.

I wouldn’t change a thing. Being honest about who I am has allowed me to be more thoughtful and fair in my actions as a manager and empathic and encouraging to my co-workers.

More by Fio Trethewey

• An Eventual Conference, The Lancet HIV (March 2024)

• The Year My Life Went Down the Toilet, The Lancet Gastroenterology & Hepatology (Jan 2024)

• https://www.thelancet.com/journals/langas/article/PIIS2468-1253(23)00201-7/abstract, The Lancet Gastroenterology & Hepatology, August 2023

Contributor

Fio Trethewey is Deputy Operations Manager at The Lancet, known for his love of Doctor Who, Arthurian Legend and 80s cult classics and a professional artist and writer in his spare time.

Alongside working for The Lancet, he has written a variety of audio dramas and short stories for Big Finish Productions for their Doctor Who box sets, most recently writing for the Gallifrey War Room series: “The Last Days of Phaidon” (2022) and “Transference” (2023).

Fio has also contributed his work as a writer and artist to charity anthologies and raised money on a charity drawing stream for FareShare UK back in October 2020 raising $4,762.

Fio Trethewey's LinkedIn Profile